Shut your mouth up about my life!

Sometimes I feel upset about how people misunderstand me. But after talking with my friend, Linny, I feel much better.

Guess what he said to me? Tell those people to "shut the fxxx up!" Hahah... As a lady, I don't say those words but sometimes it does feel good to say and really put stress on it.

Hahaha..........Shut up!!!

The day after tomorrow.

Ah? What? So? The end? Don't you think it's too easy?

After I saw a clear and beautiful earth on the screen. I said the above words to my friend, Linny. We looked at each other and smiled. Hahah.. Is that all?

I have to say as a natural-disaster movie, it's good. But as a movie to make people think of a serious issue, it's way too easy. Linny said, why do they always pick New York and L.A.?

I said to him, " you should ask why always ONE AMERICAN saves the world?"

Smart as me, I can only say it's typical Hollywood movie. I've worked out its formula as follow,

Something very dangerous + lots of people may be killed + An American Hero saves the whole WORLD at the end.= BIG MONEY

Hi! I am Olding and I'm getting old!

Friday afternoon during class hour. I was in my office and corrected my students' workbooks. Suddenly the door was opened and I saw two of my students laughing.

S: Genie! Why are you still here? You have class with us this period!
G: What? My God!I thought it's next hour.
S: No! This hour la!

Haahhaa.... my colleagues were laughing so loud and I felt embarrassed!
Though that was the first time I forgot my class, I felt old! Hahah.. and I remembered the Last name of a British lady, Ms. Olding. I joked over her family name and now it's my turn.

Part II of Wednesday night story.

G: 喂! 幹麻? 太無聊喔?
X: 哈哈......(用笑來掩飾..好傢伙)
X遞上安全帽...G上了車...習慣性的不問去哪裡.

X: 去喝茶好不好? 我想喝XX堂的珍珠奶茶
G: 嗯..好哇!
X: 我上次說不要見面到現在多啦? 有沒有一個月啊! 真沒志氣..
G: 是喔..我沒算耶..(shoot..是你打來的耶!還問我..)
閒話家常一個多鐘頭後........................

X: 你怎麼不打電話給我? (忍不住這樣抱怨了起來..)
G: 那你幹麻打電話給我?
X: 平常不是沒想到你..但看到那電影就更想打給你，我在想你會不會也正在看?
G: 喔..我上上星期看過了，沒想像中好看
X: 那天早上做了個夢..夢見被人抱著..感覺軟軟的..我直覺那是你!
G: 是喔..我其實一直覺得你最近會打電話給我
X: 這麼厲害喔..哈哈哈..(站起身來偷捏G的臉)
G: 幹麻偷捏我啦?
X: 不行喔? 沒偷捏..我是光明正大捏的(歪理)! 你覺得我會打給你..然後呢?你想到什麼?

G: 就像現在這樣啊..你打來不說幹麻又不掛斷..就等我問你是否要請我喝東西啊!
X: 然後呢?
G: 然後你就三不五時偷捏我..偷打我的頭啊..聊天啊..你還想怎樣?
X: 哈哈..不是打..是摸喔!
G: ㄟ..你三十大壽ㄟ..我有東西給你，盡完責任..就老死不相往來喔!
X: 三八..你要死了喔..死在沒人認識的島嶼喔?
G: 變成小螃蟹腳下的沙..(唱起歌來了..真三八)
X&G: 哈哈哈........

G: 好晚了..回家吧! 順便拿東西給你..
X: 嗯..送你回去!
G: 到巷子的中間吧，我懶得走那摩遠拿出來..
X: 到門口也行啊!
拿了禮物...X臨去的眼神..笑開了..心與眼睛都是....

Don't look at me with your tender eyes and smile for I might lost again inside your arms.

I need myself!

Wednesday night......... around 21:00. He phoned while I was with my friend B at a Cafe. I didn't answer the call. Because I saw X on my mobile screen.

Wednesday night ............. around 21:30. He phoned again while I was with B at the cafe, talking and laughing. I answered the call this time becasue X was shown on the screen.

G: Hello?
X: What are you doing now?
G: I am with my freind.
X: Where are you now?
G: I am not sure. This is a cafe near .....
X: When are you going home?
G: Not sure. Anything special?
X: No.. I am just..um.. I. (typical X when he wanted to ask me out.)
G: See. Wanna buy me a drink? (Damn it, I am so well-trained! ha..)
X: Ya. We can have some snacks also.
G: So... meet you at the sweet shop where we used to go.
X: Are you going home so soon? Where are you now? I can meet you there.
G: Um... so... you will pick me up then.
X: Sure!
G: Okay. Let's say 22:30.
X: Good. 22:30 then.

My friend B escorted me to the meeting place. I saw X waiting there. B left. And it's two of us as usual.

To be continued....

Whoops! I forgot to do my homework!

Can you believe this? I am sitting at my desk and surfing Net now. Suddenly something popped into my mind.... "Ah! I forgot to do my work for tomorrow." How sarcastic! I am a teacher and I forgot my own assignment. Haha..

To be or not to be, this is the question.

How would you translate this famous proverb into Chinese? I doubt anyone could do a beautiful one.

When I walked into the senior class this afternoon. My students told me that they were talking about me on the bus yesterday. I was curious what they would say about me. They said, "we like you because you understand our jokes and share our feelings."

Understanding jokes is important while teaching teens. They love jokes. Sometimes they love to criticize others but they actually didn't mean to hurt anyone. They just said it for a good laugh.

Have you ever heard any high school kids on the MRT judging other people's clothing or looks for fun. Sometimes the language was mean. But once again, they mean no harm.

Good and bad things happen to me everyday. I love my life and I like to laugh as hard as I can for I sometimes cry too hard. I need balance. Hahaha...When I think of sad things, I will try to come up with a sweet thing to go with it. Because I know no one can help me with my own problems.

To be happy or not to be, this is the greatest question.

Dancing Princess.

One of my friends has passed the exam to graduate school so we went out for dinner to celebrate. After dinner, my friend said, "I don't want to go home tonight!" Um... don't wanna go home. I smelled problem but also signal.

Among us, I am considered as "Clubbing expert" for none of them have ever been to any places called "bar" or anything related to it. So... though a bit uneasy, I took them to Carnegies.

Hey........When we got there, I seemed more relaxed than afraid. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to dance! Wow.....yeah....The music was so right. My friends looked nervous at first but they got used to the loud music, sexy women including me (hahahahaha) and men after a bottle of beer and a glass of champagne.

I was dancing and drinking with my friends. We saw some people dancing like crazy and I decided to dance like a Princess! Haha.. I bet you don't know what does that mean. Never mind, I will show it next time when we go there again.

I didn't go home till one in the morning. When I got home, my mom pulled a long face against me. But.... I considered that as a record breaking victory. Haha... why? Because after 5 minutes, she talked to me and asked me about my time at Carnegies. She seemed okay with it. I believe that with notice ahead, I shall be able to stay with you guys longer than before. I am no more Cinderella rushing home before 12 midnight! So... friends, let's party till one!! Haha..

Tea spoon & Cup noodle.

Guess what? Today I had a meeting during lunchtime so I couldn't go home for lunch. After the meeting, that was about 13:30. I went out to Hi-Life to buy a cup noodle. I was so hungry but after I paid for it. The conversation went as follow,

Clerk: We've ran out of chopsticks.
Genie: Pardon?" (He said again as if I was an idiot.)
Clerk: We have no chopsticks here.
Genie: What can I do now? You're supposed to tell me earlier.
Clerk: We have no chopsticks here as I told you.

I wanted to return the noodle, but he said I couldn't. How ridicules! How would this happen? How can a convenient store run out of their chopsticks to go with cup noodles? Aren't convenient stores there to make people's life easier? How can they expect guests will have their own chopsticks no matter where they go.

Can you believe this? So I ended up eating my noodle with my tea spoon. I bet you can imagine how stupid it was. Hahah.....so stupid!

Bill died in mysterious Kongfu.

Bill died. He died in an easy and clean way. I suppose it didn't hurt too much.

I have you.

Carrie once worked out a way between her real life and dreamed life. She said to Mr. Big while laying in bed with him, "someone proposed to me." Mr. Big seemed surprised but managed to hold himself together and asked, do I know this guy?

Carrie said yes, it's Stanford. I thought he's gay, said Mr. Big. Smiled Carrie and said, well... he is! Haha... Mr. Big looked relieve and said "oh.. that's fine then." After a second, he asked Carrie, what do you do with sex? Guess what Carrie said? She cuddled Mr. Big and said "I HAVE YOU."

Haha.. I suppose Mr. Big was jealous and also selfish. He didn't want Carrie to date or marry other guys but he just couldn't commit to a steady relationship. He was afraid.

I guess people are all selfish in one way or another. We want love but we are also afraid of responsibility. We are afraid we might lose freedom. People are selfish. My ex always says to me, don't let me know you are dating other guys. I will be so jealous. And then he would hold me tight as if he's losing me.

We once watched that episode together. He asked me what would I do if I were Carrie. I said to him "I HAVE YOU." He smiled and hold me tighter. Hahah......will I be able to do that? Can a man and woman stay in this kind of relationship but not married to each other for good?

I wrote a letter to lifeline. I am not sure when I'll get the reply from them but I am sure I felt better after I finished writing my letter.

I sent a message to my friend asking him has he ever been so sad that he didn't know what to do. So... he phoned to make sure and chat with me to keep me accompany.

No one knows when he/she will die. We should cherish our lives but sometimes I'm just so sad and don't know how to deal with it. A friend in need is a friend indeed. I told him my worries and I felt that I am a loser. I knew it's not good to bother him with my own stupid problems but that's what a friend for.

The first time I wanted to kill myself was about a month ago. I was sad and couldn't cry. I was in bed and seriously thinking of getting a pocket knife to end my own live. Suddenly, I got a message in my mobile. That was from one of my friends, he's worry about me and asked me out for dinner.

After reading that, I aborted the idea of killing myself. Then I couldn't stop my tears. I was so ashamed of myself. How could I be so selfish and stupid. I can't just end my live in that way. There are still lots of things I haven't experienced. I need to taste every part of my live before my time's over.

I guess, I am still not strong enough to face the difficulties all by myself. As for how to be a better person, I think it just takes both time and practice. I can't be sure how people will remember me after I died. But I will try my best to be a loving and caring character. I want everyone remembers me as me but not someone's daughter, girlfriend or wife.

Human Body Exhibition

Friday morning, I woke up and had my breakfast at home. What a relaxed morning. Not rushing to the school but a walk to MRT station. I met my colleague teacher Nate and we took the shuttle bus.

Around 5 to 10, we got there and met up with students. Let's see the dead body, said Nate. We paid 250NT for group ticket and went up to 7th floor where the exhibition was held.

Among all of them, I had strong feelings about the baby section. It was about babies from different period of pregnancy. After 8 weeks, it's not an embryo anymore, it is actually a tiny baby in your tummy. It has a heart and it is beating. It has eyes, ears, hands, legs, nose, mouth...... It is a tiny person who lives inside your womb. (Apologize for this, if you are a man.)

Never abort a baby if he/she is healthy. For me, it's painful to see teenage girls abort babies due to unexpected pregnancy. For someone had done it, I think she must have felt so sad and bad about giving up her baby.

After seeing the exhibit, I was really amazed how interesting human body is. Though I always want to die early, I still appreciate what I have now.

Last night, I was sad and my friend got so worry that I might commit suicide. As I told her, I can still handle my feelings now and I won't have guts to kill myself. I said I am too chicken to do that. She laughed and tried to make an appointment with a shrink for me. So I kept thinking am I really reaching the edge?

Hahaha....... I am so alive.

I love Bobby Chan!!

Bobby Chan, my favorite singer and song writer. He is just like a poet to me. It's almost impossible to translate his words into English. Some of his songs are so sweet and soft, they are just like the sweetest words your lover whispered into your ears. So much love and caring.

Some other songs are like an icy cold lemonade on a hot summer day to me. The words are funny and sometimes sarcastic. The songs make people think of their own lives. For example, "Summer" is a song about an office worker maybe like you and me who is so bored and so tired of heavy workloads. He spent all his money on a trip to a tropical island.

There are also songs about love and life. They sound sad but somehow I always find comfort after listening to them. There are wisdom from a mature mind. It teaches me to laugh over sadness and not to cry too hard.

I LOVE BOBBY CHAN!!

Hey.....Who moved my desk??

Remembering yesterday what my bloody but lovely foreign colleagues did to teacher Nate? They actually switched his desk with teacher Irene who sits next to him. Haha... That was so funny when we saw them coming back to office from class. Hahahahah.... We were all laughing!!

Guess what??? I just finished my class and when I got back to my desk. Hey.... they moved my desk to the other end of the office and now it's my turn. I will be sitting next to Nate before they move my desk back to where it was.

See.... those foreigners........... how bored they are. They've done this twice. I am wondering what kind of tricks they will do for Thursday! But so far, I think it's fun to work with those bloody but also lovely foreigners. I love them!

Dream of you.

昨晚，我居然夢見你了！醒來後，我微笑了....

許久不曾見你入夢來，那是一場多年後重逢的夢。夢裡有我們共同的朋友，你因宿命而改了名字，我則依然是我。夢裡清晰地看見你名片上的新名字與公司打卡單上你寫的舊名字，就是你寫卡片給我時，簽在信末的筆跡。

夢裡，場景由白天轉至夜晚。我們與朋友一起等車....你傳了簡訊訴說你多年來對我的感覺。雖然在現實生活中，你已經親自對我說過，我還是希望能再聽你說一次。

大多數的時候，我選擇讓自己快樂！偶爾也有些悲傷....那時我會想起你曾在我耳邊唱過的老歌與陳昇的歌，是一種懷念...是我們之間沒辦法忘掉的回憶。

努力走出自己，一起為各自的生活努力。這是我們約好的....那就加油吧！希望多年後的重逢像夢裡一樣溫暖.....

Don't ask me to smile for I'm too tired to please you.

When I am sad, nobody can see it. Because I try to hide the feelings inside me. I am now more or less used to this for I need to be happy so that I can comfort others who are sad.

When I am sad, I can still smile and I can still eat. The only thing I can't do is to sleep at night. The feeling is terrible. I settle myself down at bed but I can't give a wink. I am always wondering what's wrong with me. Shouldn't I be the one that always needs someone to comfort my tears.

I've got the answer recently. I told myself not to cry in front of people for it's impolite and not to bother others with my sadness for people may just in the right mood to party. There is really no point to ruin others' mood just because I am sad.

Luckily, I do have a friend who can see my sorrow and care about me. I can share my feelings with him no matter happiness or sadness. He is thoughtful and sweet. We'll phone each other whenever we feel down. It's good to know someone like this. Though we can't see each other very often and I may only have him to share my sadness. But that's more than enough for he understands both my fears and feelings.

Aren't you Chinese???

This is the question I hate the most!! I have been using English to write my diary since I was 16. My English teacher encouraged me to do this to improve my English. I did and I felt good because no one in my family would be interested to read something written in English. I am safe and I can write anything I want.

As time goes by, I am used to it. When I write something in English, I can express my feeling more directly than in Chinese. Maybe this is because my English isn't as good as my Chinese. Though I did write some good stuff in Chinese.

But some strange people will ask me, "Aren't you Chinese?". When they asked this, they meant "Why in the hell you write in a foreign language? You are Chinese not a foreigner!!!!"

"Aren't you Chinese?" Don't ask me anymore!! I am Taiwanese!!!Hahah.....