Fortune telling

It was my aunt. She is a nice woman but cares too much about others. She likes helping people and so she had my "love life" checked up by a 70 something fortune teller who is said to be very good at fortune telling.

Well.... Actually she had her children's fate on schooling checked by him since her kids were born. She said, it's something worthy of listening. So.... then I went there with my aunt, uncle and my mom, who got car sick and threw up two times. Poor mommy always has to suffer for unmarried daughter! Hahahah...

So... then I got there. Just before I went in there to have my future checked, I felt really anxious. My heart beat as if I were again on the red carpet by myself at the Golden Bell ceremony. It was bad... and I did feel nervous and even wanted to run away.

It was my turn, the old fortune teller told me things about my family right after I sat down without telling him anything. That was wicked. It was exactly like my family. So, he got me into it and continued telling me things about my love life and career. Well.. the story was too long so I would just stop here. Over all, he was good at telling fortunes and as for future, I'd have to wait when it comes and then I will tell you whether it's true or not.

But the strange thing is I didn't feel relaxed after it. I felt nothing which was really special for normally I always have so many feelings and emotions. Weird, isn't it?

I guess it's all about my own thought. If I could really let go then I would feel better. However, it's still here and the worse thing is I would rather wish him dead than see him with another woman. I know it's not right and it's sick. But somehow, this idea has always been kept in the darkest part of my heart.

I know I shouldn't have this idea and I'm trying to let go. Trying hard....very hard.