Walk the dog??

This Tuesday, a new man walked into my life. His name is MIGOO, my sister's beagle. As some of my friends may know that I am afraid of almost everything no matter live or dead. But this little man just walked into my peaceful life and demanded me to walk him everyday.

Here comes the problem! I am afraid of animals so how can I walk him? This Thursday was the first time for me and MIGOO. Before took him out, I asked my dad if MIGOO had done his "business" in the morning. My dad said yes.

So, I took him out for a walk. On the way, he was normal and nice. Just as I said to myself, " Hey.. you made it! It wasn't as difficult as you thought." Then guess what? He stopped and started to make "Pooh-Pooh" on the street. My Goodness! I was so embarrassed and what made the situation worse was that I had nothing with me to clean up the mess.

What would you do if you were me? (A)Walk away (B) Go home and come back with cleaning tools. (C) Ask people for some newspaper. What should I do? I chose C! And that was my very first time to pick up "pooh-pooh". Yuck... they were soft and warm.

Wanna know more?? Get a dog!!!

Modern technology is not always reliable.

Once in a while you will get time like this. You sent your mail and started to wait for reply. But... It's a long time waiting because the person didn't even know you sent him/her a mail. Haha..... Luckily, the person I sent mail to wasn't my boyfriend. Otherwise, this is gonna be the beginning of a possible quarrel. Hahah...

Have you ever misunderstood your friend because the mail system somehow failed to send out your or your friends' mail. In fact, I still don't understand why people nowadays like everything to be done via computers. I like writing letters and sending them by post. It's not as fast as e-mail but it's a good way to show your feeling. I like to get a handwritten letter. It's more human. How about you?

Swimming!! Though your heart is breaking!Hahaa..

Last night, I went swimming alone. That was a nice pool up in 10th floor near my place. There were only 3 people in the pool. I felt relaxed. I can't swim well and the best thing was I didn't have to worry about getting in someone's way. I can always stop and stand up to take my breath whenever I want. Wasn't this nice? It's just like swimming in your private pool.

Swimming though alone, swimming though lonely, swimming though dieing. Hahaha..

Fools never die!!

William Kung said, " I have done my best and I have no regret." This is what I learnt today during lunch time. I read William's story on the paper. He can't sing but he has confidence! This guy sang "She bangs" at a contest. He sucks! But what made people crazy about him was his self-confidence. He's even won himself a record contract.

Amazing!!! I have never done anything like that. If I think I can't make it, then I just simply won't do it. This is so strange. I am considered rational regards to my career. But when it comes to relationship, I followed my heart but not brain. See the difference? Hahaa... Maybe this is why I failed mine. Even though I knew I couldn't make it, I still tried. How foolish I am!

I have done my best and I have no regret! I try to do my best and try not to regret for the things I have done. This is my life and no one can take responsibility for me. I sure will die someday but I wish I will die with a smile on my face thinking of all the bittersweet experience I've been through in my life.

How to screw up your life?? Hahaha

Hey.... This is my specialty. You are asking the right person. I am the perfect one to answer your question. As some of my friends knew that I once had heartbreaking relationship with a man I loved deeply. Just as people thought I might die in pain, I survived! People around me all felt happy for me and thought I might learn a lesson from it so that I can be more careful about man and will never be hurt again.

Guess what!! I actually screwed up my life again. Hahaha....... Unbelievable, right? Every girl's got a sad story to tell about her life. As for me, I got one and it lasts for about 6 years. Just like Carrie and Mr. Big in Sex and the City. I also got a Mr. Big in my life.

Recently, I am thinking that should you be a friend with your ex? This is a tricky question. I haven't contacted my ex for about 8 months. One day in February, he phoned and we chatted as the way we did when we were together. He phoned several times to chat with me and then he asked me out for dinner. I thought it's just a dinner. But the dinner turned out to be something I never expected.

He actually can't forget that we were once in love with each other and he tried to make his move at the first dinner. He didn't make it for I refused. But in the following dinner, I failed to resist his kiss. Then... I screwed up my life again. Hahaha... There's nobody I can blame for not only him but also me had to take responsibility for this whole thing.

It made me think of one thing, was it love or lust? We are not a couple anymore. He said he loves me but he shouldn't be with me because that's no good for me. Haha....... Who knows? There is no one can be sure that he or she is good or bad for someone. I knew the problem. He was selfish and even now he still is. He admitted it to me and he thanked me for the love and understanding I gave him during the past 5 years.

Well.... well...well........ When you have a sad story like this. You can't be sure what will happen in the future. Maybe we'll be back together when we get to 40. Haha.....I think there is no possibility for I may die before that. Hahaa.. Actually I do want to die before certain age.

I have good friends who care about me. I have students who adore me. I have family members who love me unconditionally. So... Who could ask for anything more? I am happy for I had made my decision and I knew I was selfish too during the last few weeks. I was lonely and I am sure now that was both love and lust that made us together.

Whoops.... As for your question, I have only one suggestion "Be selfish, care no one but yourself and follow your heart!" Then you will screw up your life as mush as you wanted!" Haha....haha....hahah.... Until then...See you next time!

Cry hard when you want and Laugh hard while you can!

Work hard and keep hoping. Maybe this is what we need for life.

Have you heard of Anne Frank, a Jewish girl who died in 1945. Her diary has been translated into 60 different languages. I read her diary once. I was so surprised how could she keep hopes during that difficult time. How could she be optimistic while she was hiding with her family in a small place, sharing a room with her father's friend who she didn't even like.

I watched a film about Anne Frank tonight. It was filmed in Holland where Anne was born and lived till she was transported to the concentration camp. I cried when Anne and her family members were sent to the camp and cried over the whole thing. The movie reminded me of my first journey to Germany.

When I was in Munich, I visited a concentration camp out of curiosity. I can't remember the name of the place. What bothers me was the camp in the movie looked exactly the same as the one I visited outside Munich.

When I was there, I had really bad feeling and I think I didn't take any photos there. That was just too much pain to think of how those innocent Jewish people were treated there. The camp had nothing but walls, cells, big shower room that was actually used as a gas chamber to kill people.

I couldn't understand why Hitler hated Jewish and even now I still don't get it. Some say that was because Hitler was half Jewish while others say that was jealousy for Jewish people were rich and made much more money than any other people during that time.

Tonight, I am still trying to think of a reason why Hitler hated Jewish. Some people discriminate others simply because the color of their skin or because they are from so called lower class in the society. But why? Why Hitler hated them?

Another thing made me feel so sad was Anne's father, Otto Frank. The family was caught and sent to different camps. After the war, Otto Frank was freed in 1945 and he lived the rest of his life till 91 alone. His two girls died in a camp in Poland due to illness and his wife was dead because of starving. She wanted to save all the bread and food she's got for her husband and children even though they were apart. Otto Frank was the only one in the family left after the war. He said to Anne "Work hard and keep hoping". Maybe this is what we all need for life.

ICRT sent me a mail last night.

It was a nice mail from Joseph Lin, program director, who happened to be my interviewer a couple of weeks ago. It was a nice mail. Why? Because it was a polite mail inofrmed me that I didn't make it to the final stage and explained their concerns to me and said that ICRT will keep my record and let me know when they need some more new faces.

Well, this is not really important to me. The main reason made me feel good was it's not a bulk mail sent to everyone. He wrote you in person. Maybe he just changed the name but still used the same content. However, when you read a letter start with Dear Genie but not dear participants. It's nice. It gave me a feeling that he was actually writing this mail only for me.

See.... I am really a person that asks nothing but Kimochi(feeling)! Hahaa.....Sad! Always like this. Very stupid and sentimental. Most of the time I trust feelings more than brain. Haha... See... this is why and how I screwed up my life. My ex-colleague used to call me "A romantic fool." Haha.... I can't deny it. I am and I think there's no cure for me. Haha....

During the day I am okay and normal. When night gets dark..... my heart gets down too. I will try my best to lead a happy life though how difficult it might be. Gonna be a happy single woman who may sometimes dates "sho pon yo"! hahaha... Silly.... Silly.. me!

How you die is quite important. But, by far more important is how you live.

I have been through a lot these days both mentally and physically. I met my ex-boyfriend and we spent few weekends together. He took me out for a surprised dinner to celebrate my 27th birthday. That was sweet! But the worst part was when he told me he still likes me and wants me to be happy with him. As he said he does not only want me to be his friend but also a lover for good.

This was where he got me. I think I said yes to him partly because I was lonely and partly because I had exactly the same feeling towards him as he did to me. The whole thing didn't start from my side. People can blame me for this because I did say No to him at the first place but couldn't stick to No for the following weeks. I knew it's my fault.

The day his present girlfriend sent me mails made me feel a bit upset but not sad. There were some bad words from her and I could see misundersatnding. But I just simply don't want to explain any more.

She blamed me for everything! Of course, she would! That's because she loves her boyfriend and I have no problem with that. It just tired me.

Since my first aka my ex-boyfriend couldn't make up his mind over the years when we were together and let this went on and on. What can I do? For what happened in my life can't be controlled by me. I decided to give up and try to be happy everyday. I don't want to regret for what I have done. I knew love hurts. It hurts so badly that I couldn't cry even I tried. Maybe my heart has died and I wonder if there really were soemone out there for me.

I feel nothing. I don't know why but I can't feel now. I was sad for I was so stupid. I made mistake. Nobody can understand and not even me. What's wrong with us? What's wrong with a man like my ex?

I couldn't give a wink last night. I was awake till 2:30 in the morning. Maybe that's because I've drank some tea before I went to bed or it might just because of a phone call from my friend.

I had a nice chat with my friend. It was a call from an old friend. We have been through a lot and I was glad we could finally reach a balance to realize what we really meant for each other in one's life. Knowing that helps me release the uneasiness deep down.

Today is the last day for my resit class. I feel happy cause I don't have to see those students with low motivation sitting in my class wondering if they can pass it. They like to sing English songs but they don't want to learn words in the text book. This is so difficult. I would be very happy to teach songs in class if there were no entrance exams for my students to pass.It's always a dilemma. I am wondering when can those students feel truely happy to be in an English class but not required to. This is the question I wish I had the answer to.

A gift, to be a gift, has to be accepted. Otherwise it lies like a burden between people.

This is another idea I got from a book, The knight in a rusty armour. At first, I was a bit shocked to read this. Because no one would be unhappy to receive a gift from others. But after a few moment, I started feeling so down inside. I could still remember my first boyfriend said to me, "Don't you think you are too nice to me." That's how we broke up.

Maybe there were still other reasons, but at that moment I couldn't understand it at all. Why? What's wrong to treat the one you loved like the most important person in the world? What's wrong to do everything for him as a proof of love?

But now I know I was so wrong. My love was indeed a gift to him but what if he felt pressure from my love? That's where a gift becomes a burden. What I though was good for him might not be what he had wanted. That's when a gift becomes a burden.

I guess, we all need to learn from experience. No matter how hard it will be.

Today belons to you. So do whatever you can do now. Who knows! You may never see tomorrow's sun.

This is what I read from a calendar recently my dad got from an Indian guru. For me, it's not only a calendar but also a book of life. Because it has one short paragraph everyday and tells you all about life and God. No matter which God will it be.

This is so nice that I can share it with whoever visits my blog and also my listeners. Whenever I read books about life, I can always learn something from it. This keeps me away from pessimism and also let me learn how to cherish everything happened in my life so far. Because no matter how painful it might be, I know there's a reason that God put me through it. I should learn from it. Hope it inspires you as it did to me.

Saturday night at Carnegies was great fun.

On Saturday afternoon, I skipped my class and went to ICRT for DJ audition. I met Wendy, a friend of Linny's. Linny talked us in to join the audition. Guess what, I passed the first and second round. Now I am only waiting for the result to see if I get in the final round, which I think it's not possible.

I phoned Linny after I finished the audition to share the exciting news with him. He phoned back and asked me if I wanted to go out with him and some other friends I met once at a Christmas party. I went to Carnegies with him and met those crazy people, however, Anna, the craziest among them.

We had nice dinner there and I had Carrie's drink, Cosmopolitan. After that, I had margrita and after that..... Hey....Champagne! Ladies got free champagne. That was nice. I couldn't remember how many glasses I had. Anna was up at the bar and danced like crazy. I was screaming and shouting her name with Linny all the time when she's on the bar to show my support and maybe deep down I wish I could have the courage to do that. That must be awesome!!

It's such a beautiful day. I am wondering why I sit here in the office writing this. Last night, I met my friend, GT. Guess what? She saw that guy this Sunday and spent whole day with him. I couldn't stop thinking why she saw him again. As I said I could still remember the first time she broke up with that guy. She actually cried the hell out of her in front of the most prosperous department store near Taipei train station. She was so sad and for one moment I though she would die of a broken heart.

I was with her that afternoon. People who walked pass us would give her tissue paper and told her "I don't know what happened, but you have to be strong. Things gonna be okay with you." I took her to a restaurant cause I couldn't bear to see her crying and dieing on the street. Same thing happened at the restaurant. People sat around us do the same thing as others did on the street. Who could bear to see a water-like Pisces woman crying but not helping her?

What do you think of a Pisces woman? Well.... I can tell you that GT's a typical Pisces woman. Sometimes I really hate her or I should say I am jealous about what she's born with. She can cry whenever and wherever she wants to, she's always have the ability to make people happy but also cry with her at the same time. She can sense these little, tiny feelings that bother you. She's always caring for people. I meant why on earth you have this creature who has got enough trouble herself but still can care about you at the same time?

Won't you just love and hate that? I guess that's why I am her best friend. I love her in general. When I say I hate her, it's most likely I just get so worry about her. I don't want to see her hurt again. But what can you do when a Pisces woman thinks she's fine with what she's doing now. Especially when she's in love and get ready to sacrifice everything for that.

You just shut your mouth up and be well-prepared!! Both tissue and your shoulders. Hahahaa....

This is a sad but true story. GT once had a boyfriend. He wasn't the one for her. He wasn't good enough for her. Everybody except GT knew that the relastionship between them wouldn't work out. However, she couldn't stop loving him. Partly because he was the first man she knew after she arrived on Earth. Or she was deeply in love with that guy. If I should find some words to describe him, I would say "a fucking heartbreaker".

I could still remember the day they First broke up. Why would I say this? Yes, Bingo!! It seems that they will never be aprt. GT ended up with a broken heart but still believed in her true love, the heartbreaker. They will always be back at certain point in a way that no one could understand. At the time I am writting this story, they broke up officially but still see each other sometimes on weekends. They are kind of together. Just like Carrie and Mr. Big! No, No, No, NOBODY CAN EVER UNDERSTAND. Do you see what I mean?

As a woman who will reach 30 shortly. I don't know if I still believe in true love. Or I should say will I ever find true love???

This is a story of a lonely planet named GT and her journey on Earth. She doesn't know where she came from but she loves the place she's in now. She tries to explore and experience the meaning of True Love.