How to screw up your life?? Hahaha

Hey.... This is my specialty. You are asking the right person. I am the perfect one to answer your question. As some of my friends knew that I once had heartbreaking relationship with a man I loved deeply. Just as people thought I might die in pain, I survived! People around me all felt happy for me and thought I might learn a lesson from it so that I can be more careful about man and will never be hurt again.

Guess what!! I actually screwed up my life again. Hahaha....... Unbelievable, right? Every girl's got a sad story to tell about her life. As for me, I got one and it lasts for about 6 years. Just like Carrie and Mr. Big in Sex and the City. I also got a Mr. Big in my life.

Recently, I am thinking that should you be a friend with your ex? This is a tricky question. I haven't contacted my ex for about 8 months. One day in February, he phoned and we chatted as the way we did when we were together. He phoned several times to chat with me and then he asked me out for dinner. I thought it's just a dinner. But the dinner turned out to be something I never expected.

He actually can't forget that we were once in love with each other and he tried to make his move at the first dinner. He didn't make it for I refused. But in the following dinner, I failed to resist his kiss. Then... I screwed up my life again. Hahaha... There's nobody I can blame for not only him but also me had to take responsibility for this whole thing.

It made me think of one thing, was it love or lust? We are not a couple anymore. He said he loves me but he shouldn't be with me because that's no good for me. Haha....... Who knows? There is no one can be sure that he or she is good or bad for someone. I knew the problem. He was selfish and even now he still is. He admitted it to me and he thanked me for the love and understanding I gave him during the past 5 years.

Well.... well...well........ When you have a sad story like this. You can't be sure what will happen in the future. Maybe we'll be back together when we get to 40. Haha.....I think there is no possibility for I may die before that. Hahaa.. Actually I do want to die before certain age.

I have good friends who care about me. I have students who adore me. I have family members who love me unconditionally. So... Who could ask for anything more? I am happy for I had made my decision and I knew I was selfish too during the last few weeks. I was lonely and I am sure now that was both love and lust that made us together.

Whoops.... As for your question, I have only one suggestion "Be selfish, care no one but yourself and follow your heart!" Then you will screw up your life as mush as you wanted!" Haha....haha....hahah.... Until then...See you next time!

Cry hard when you want and Laugh hard while you can!