What?!  It's coming soon?
 
As I'm surfing the Net, some Ads just keep popping out. It takes only half second to realize that those pink and red hearts are the symbols of valentine's day. 

On a day that is filled with lovers, hearts, gifts, flowers and romantic meals. On a day that News anchors tell people all about hotel packages, special meal set offered by fancy restaurants. It seems that on Valentine's day all of us should be with someone but not alone.

What about singles? On that day, being single makes you more pathetic. People who see you alone may ask you "Don't you have a date tonight?" or "What happened to the last one you brought home?" Trust me, some of the people are really senseless!  

I was asked by my neighbor this February on Valentine's Day. "What happened to the one you brought home on your dad's birthday?" Hahaha... couldn't be more embarrassing. I wanted to say "It's none of your business." but I couldn't for I was educated to be polite.

Valentine's Day, a day to torture singles legally!! Hahhahaa...

A woman's life jacket.

Teacher X is now having a great time of her life. Her marriage has undergone some dramatical changes. Story went like this, 3 years ago, her husband had an affair with another woman. He denied though the evident was clear. The story sucks! I know! However, every woman who's been through this has something to teach us about Love and Marriage.

Teacher X said, if you've ever tasted the great pain, you would learn to let go. The most important lesson from it is to know that nothing can really last forever.

Love's like a rose. It only lasts for 3 days then it goes. And when it goes, it goes...Once you fall in love, you need to prepare yourself for breaking up. Once you are married, you need to be well-prepared for changes in your marriage.

When you get the chance to be in love and marriage, just try! But remember to put on a life jacket before getting into the trouble water. You have to be able to stand on your own feet when divorced. This was what Teacher X told me, a stupid girl who once and still wants to believe in the legend of great love lasting forever.

The whole afternoon, I kept on thinking "how many life jackets do I have?" As a woman, what if my marriage went sour at 40? Would I be as brave as my teacher? Would my life jacket support me all the way through the storm? When a woman is willing to give everything she has both in love and marriage, will she be smart enough to keep a life jacket for herself?

Both love and marriage require teamwork. It is difficult to keep a sound relation when only one side is trying. In marriage, if the two sides can't be on the same track, at least they have to head towards the same direction. But what if one has changed his/her goal? Should another one adjust oneself? Or simply change for another partner?

If I could draft a contract of love indicating all the rights and obligations, would I be guaranteed for a stable relation? Just take a look at the insurance market, there are insurances for retirement, for medical purpose, for personal credit. However, no company's dare to make one for Love and Marriage!! This proves that Love is unpredictable, Love isn't about morale, Love is unstable and Love is like dazzling fireworks.

As a woman, do I know to put on a life jacket ahead when love knocks on my doorway again?       

Reading books is fun.

Recently I'm reading 4 different books almost at the same time.

"The liar's club: A Memoir". ==> It's an autobiography of Mary Karr. She had a terrible childhood with her "too nervous" mother. She has been sexully abused by a young boy in her neighborhood and an adult when she was 8. I haven't finished reading it. Will tell you more when I finish it.

"The things that the boys taught me". ==>It is written by Mr. Tsai, Kang-Young. It's an interesting book about all the boys he met since he's young. There is always one special thing made him remeber a particular boy. He gave each of them a number. Hahah..should I start to make my own list and number them?

"Pheromone in the air." ==> Bobby Chan, the singer, the song writer, the writer I admire the most. Don't ask me why. It's too complicated to explain. When you are deeply in love with someone, there is no reason. Something just can't be explained!

"Sisy Notes." ==> A book I read when I was waiting for my flight. I didn't buy it at once for I need time to think. When I came back home, the first thing is to buy this book! I just started to read it. It's very sharp. That's all I can say now. It's sharp!!

Read more, think more. Me.......in a complicated situation!

Looking for another half of myself.

呵呵…今天早上刷牙的時候，突然想起那天朋友問我擇偶條件時，我自己說的話。我突然察覺到，原來我在找一個跟自己很像的人，還是該說我根本在找另外一個自己呢？

1.看的順眼表示不能長的太差…我自己好像也是這樣，長得不漂亮但算是順眼。
2.聰明、風趣：我應該也有一點吧！
3.聲音好、口齒清楚，說話不要有怪腔調：呵呵..這個就是我啊！
4.工作穩定有上進心：這是另一個我！
5.無不良嗜好、成熟：這好像也是我！
6.大學畢：絕對包括我！
7.熟悉一種外語：這也是我！

很可怕吧…我一直在找跟自己像的人！我怎麼會這樣呢？在無形之中..我居然希望自己的伴侶是一個跟自己很像的人！我在找自己！你說這種情形，找到伴侶的機率有多大？我是沒希望了..看來只剩下相親一途..

如果這個世界上的人都像我一樣在找自己，那麼應該就不會有人結婚了吧！因為一直都找不到在出生時，散落的另一半自己。還是說..其實人人都在找自己，但是當人們經過一些事，開始發現自己的想法其實天真又不切實際時，人們開始退而求其次，或許這也是為什麼人家會說“結婚的對象永遠不是自己最愛的那個人”。

然而做一個不斷與現實妥協的人值不值得呢？選擇對象對男人與女人來說都是一項大冒險，每個人都賭上了自己的一生，然而誰能百分之百確定呢？就連造物主創出的亞當與夏娃，也逃不過墮落的一刻，到頭來，是空的吧！男人跟女人之間若非那一丁點肉體上的羈絆，也不會結合吧！至於情感的依歸…男與男、女與女或許更能符合大家心中想要的那一份真愛吧！

世界上沒有絕對要怎樣不可的事情吧！如果找不到百分之百的自己，或許一個百分之八十的我也不錯，可悲!

不離婚的男人!

結了婚的男人有了外遇....
家裡的女人委屈..但為了太多因素...還是先原諒並求和...

男人先是心虛...後是謬論..他說:那是逢場做戲? 再來呢?
女人心碎...心寒...選擇離婚...

女人要離婚? 這下男人又不願意離婚了....他說:孩子呢?孩子怎麼辦?

嘿嘿嘿...男人跟別的女人做愛時.....心裡曾出現過孩子的臉嗎?

不離婚的男人是為了什麼呢? 為面子? 爲孩子? 爲銀子? 還是爲愛呢?
如果有愛?怎麼能跟另一個女人做愛呢?

難道男人就真的那麼機械與原始嗎?

難道愛是不包括忠誠的?

炎熱的夏天...浮躁的心情...思索著...思索著原始的課題...

女人的救生衣!

X老師目前過得很好，她的婚姻在三年多前起了變化。老公有了外遇...很爛的故事吧!每個離婚的女人都有個難堪與傷心的回憶。怎麼說呢....唉...唉...唉...

如果你大痛過一次，也就看開了。重要的是要知道，這個世界上沒有什麼是不會變的!愛情大概只有3天吧!愛情像玫瑰花一樣，很快就會凋謝。談戀愛就要有分手的準備、結婚就要有婚變的準備.....但是，當你有機會嘗試愛情與婚姻的時候，就跳下去吧，但記得為自己準備救生衣!要有能力不靠男人活下去!

幾個同學跟老師聊了一下午，我一直反覆思索一件事，作為一個女人，我有幾件救生衣?如果我和X老師一樣在中年面臨婚變，我有勇氣嗎？我的救生衣能夠讓我好好活下去嗎？當一個女人在愛情與婚姻中全心付出自己的時候，她懂得為自己留下一件救生衣嗎？

談戀愛跟婚姻都一樣是Team work，光靠一個人的努力是很難維持的。在婚姻與愛情中兩人若不能同軌至少要同方向，有一樣的目標就能維繫兩人的情感。但是當一方的目標變動時，另一方是否要調整自己呢？還是就乾脆地再換一個夥伴呢？

如果我能訂下一個愛情或婚姻契約，言明所有的權利與義務，是否就能保有一段穩定的關係呢？看著市面上林林總總的保險，有人保退休、有人保醫療、有人保信用...但是沒有人敢為愛情或婚姻做出一張保單來。說明了愛情的不可測、說明了愛情無關道德、說明了愛情的不穩定、說明了愛情就是一團令人目眩神迷的花火。

我曾經相信的一切，在與那個人分開後，全都散了........

作為女人，我懂得在下次愛情來臨時先為自己穿上救生衣嗎？

很高興見到你!

很高興見到你喔...留個腳印或手印在我的日誌旁邊吧!

Palau, blue sky, beautiful ocean, lots of fish and annoying tour guide.


I'm back!!! My trip in short but not too short. Hahah...

First day, I met some other people from different tour groups. They were really friendly people and we went fishing in the afternoon. I've only got half fish! Why half of it? My fish was eaten by unknown fish (could be shark)before I pulled it up!

First night, me and 3 other tour members went to karaoke. We had a great time there. After that, my strange tour guide talked to me and thought he realized me so well that he proposed to me. I was really pissed off with him. Being a polite girl as I always am, I said "I'm not in the mood to talk about this. Please don't mention it again." I really got pissed off.

Second day, got up early to have breakfast then we went out to the sea. I enjoyed every water sports including banana boat, floating hamburger, water bike and snorkeling. I screamed like crazy and everyone appreciated it!!

PS. The tour guide said he scarred a girl off by proposing to her. He was testing my limit I thought. I pulled a long face.

Third day, got up early still. Went out to the sea. Climbed up and down to the jellyfish lake. It was awesome! I've never swam with such a large group of jellyfish! hahahah..........The feeling was great. This day, we also went to a place so called "Milky lake." We put white mud on our body and it was great fun as well. In the afternoon, while I was up in the second deck to see the captain driving (don't know which word to use)the boat. He offered me cannabis. It didn't smell bad so I tried but didn't like it!

PS. My tour guide kept mentioning he wanted to marry a girl after 2 years. I wanted to push him down to the sea! He's really a pain in the ass. (excuse my language)

Fourth day, I decided to stay at hotel and enjoy a day without my annoying tour guide. Got up late, enjoyed my morning coffee. Went out to the neighborhood with my book and picked an Indian restaurant for lunch. It was the best meal I've ever had since I arrived Palau. I was happy and free of annoying guide.

Fourth night, me and other 5 people sat by the swimming pool with our beer and snacks. We talked, laughed and I saw my very first shooting star in my life. It was orange! It was so beautiful. I screamed over the excitement. It was gone while I was screaming!

Fifth day. Got up a bit earlier than the fourth day. Enjoyed my breakfast. Went out to buy some cards and sent out all my post cards to my friends and myself. Lunch with a bunch of people and asked them to write down their e-mail address for me.

In the afternoon, jumped on the flight home. I didn't like Fareastern airline. If I ever had another choice, I wouldn't have chosen it.



Hahahaha..... are your eyes tired?! I'm tired too!

Something's gotta give, a sweet love story.

Friday afternoon, raining, boring, surfing Net, chatting via MSN, waiting for reply.

Plan set with Linny.

Friday night, movie night at my place. It was down pouring outside. I went out to rent a movie we all agree to watch. Six thirty at my place, Linny, Debby and 小麥 came with pizza and coke.

Seven. Movie started. When Keanu Reeves appeared on screen, we've got one male and one female screaming. Guess who were they? Hahah....Not me la. You know my taste.

Diane Keton stars a 56 year-old playwrite. Keanu Reeves as a handsome doctor at his 30s. Jack Nicholson, a 67 year-old man who only dates women under 30. It's a love story between these 3 major characters. A nice little film with famous stars. I would say the story is okay but the acting is brilliant.

What's our favorite scene? It's the one that Diane Keton walks in her room naked and Jack sees her. That scene is classic. Don't mean the naked part but the acting of these two big stars. It's impressive and looks so natural.

After the film, they were busying making their clubbing plans and calling friends. Me..not going but suggesting the place to go. Weird, right? Ha... Since my mom doesn't like me going out late at night. I'd better save some credits for next month. I've been partying too much recently from her point of view. Mom's not happy about it. So I'd better be a mom's girl for a while.

Friday night, me alone at home. Me...alone...blog...surfing Net...drinking coke...thinking of you.

SUMMER!! TIME FOR KANAKA PARTY AND DRINK.

IT'S SUMMER!!! SUMMER! SUMMER ALREADY. However, it's raining now. It's raining now. It's raining now. Hoo.... I want to complain but my friend told me not for I have more holiday than others.

Summer, time for party and drink. Hahah.......my mom offered her advice to me. She said "You are a teacher. You have to behave well and be a role modle to your students. Never stay out late at night."

I think my mom is right but I just don't want to take her advice. hahaha.. I am acting like a teenage girl. As a teacher, I should well-behaved and never do anything to harm my professional image no matter what that is.

But this is my life. I think as long as I do no harm to myself and to the society, I can choose my own way of life. As Linny said "My blog, my way." I would say "My life, My way."

Agree?