A day without talking to anyone, including yourself.
Can you spend a day in complete silence? Not even talking to yourself? This is difficult for me. Since I was little, I have been talking to myself every day. There isn't a moment I'm not talking. Even in dreams, I talked to myself.
I guess it was because I'm afraid of being alone.
Being alone and happy isn't easy. Being single and happy isn't easy, either. There's always someone reminding me that I am reaching 30 in 2 years, I would say 3 but whatever. Is that really an awful thing to be single. It seems like being single is a sin for women in this society.
Before you reach 30, people will keep on reminding you "Get yourself a guy and marry him soon." After you reach 30, they start looking at you differently. They pity you and tell you all the shit about "It's just not time. When it comes, it comes. But you'll keep looking hard, won't you?"
As a single woman who's going to be 30 in 3 years. Though consider myself still young, people will tell me "No, you aren't! And now you just don't have that much time to be picky." I sometimes want to tell them "Fxxx Off"! That's my business!!
However, the sad thing is I can never face myself strongly. I can't even pass myself on this problem. I knew I want to be with someone and I know I want to have a loving family. So...... How can I be strong?
Friends say "Genie, you're so independent. Genie, you are strong in mind." Hahaha... I feel sarcastic. I just don't show it to others but I am weak. I'm weaker than anyone could have imagined.
I think I'm forced to be strong. That's what I thought. I want to lean on someone but where is the one. Looking hard does not promise you one. So... can anyone spend a day alone in complete silence and not feeling lonely?
