My major setback and my thought.

I have been promising too much than I can do. I think this is really a major setback of my character. Whenever someone comes to me and asks for help, I always offer the best I can. I think too much for others but not myself.

Students come to me for all sorts of problems.
I answer and help.
School Deans come to me for wanting me to take extra classes.
I hate it but take it more often than not.
I join clubs for leisure.
But I end up taking more responsibility from it.

I think it's all my fault.
I should have said No no matter how sincere they might be.
I hate my stupid character.

Why do I have to think that
"OKAY.. I can do it if I sleep less hours."
"OKAY.. I can squeeze some time during weekend."

I think I haven't left enough time for myself.
I think I haven't considered enough that "There are always unexpected things happening." For instance, I might fall ill. I might need to join family gatherings which means will never end till late. And it leaves me no time for what I may have promissed someone.

I hate myself.
I have been chasing by time and people. At the end of the day, I pleased PEOPLE but not myself. And I feel so bad when I have to delay the work promissed to be done by certain time.

I am a bit TOO TIRED.
I don't even want to answer calls.
I don't even want to go out.
I don't even want to kill myself.
I guess that's because
I AM JUST A BIT TOO TIRED.