What a ride on 4 September 2006.
---- Dedicated to an Old British Gal, Amanda.

I am on my train to Bath where I used to study for my MA. It was not bad at the first, the train’s neat and I’ve got my snack with me to ensure a pleasant ride. Then an old gal came up to the train drunk with her bottle of beer and that made my story unbelievable.

First, she helped an old gentleman to find his luggage while she didn’t even have a clue that the man was actually looking for his seat. She started helping him by pointing at some bags and said “Is this your bag, sir? Is this your bag? I can help ya!” A lady sat in the front then yelled,” that’s mine.” Then another old lady said, “I think he’s looking for his seat.” So… this old gal stood up still with her beer in hand pointed at a ticket officer for the old gentleman saying “You go see him straight, he’ll help ya.” Off the man went.

Do you think the story ends here? If it had been a simple story, I wouldn’t have bothered to switch on my laptop for it.

Then as people sat around her thought this might quiet her down. But… No…This old gal still stood there and started saying loudly, “I look after elders. I was brought up this way. Always look after people! Oh.. bye honey. You be good for mummy, okay? You be good! I am English and I’m proud of it!”

She didn’t forget to say bye to the little girls getting off the train. How sweet!! Hahah.. Well… I don’t mind seeing drunken gal on the train as long as she doesn’t come bother me or get sick on the train. It was quite interesting actually so I exchanged an “Oh my...” smile with the lady who happened to sit a roll behind the drunken gal.

Oops… is she smiling at me? Oh.. NO… Don’t ….please..please… Sigh, she came pat on my lap while I sat with my niece, Kerstin.

Drunken gal: You sisters? Cousins?

Without thinking and trying not to look scared, I said, “Cousins.” (oh.. No… I can smell her beer.)

Drunken gal: You see, you younger generations are wiser. Wiser!! (with drunken British accent, if you ever have a clue what that meant, you’ll find it rather interesting!)

As if I didn’t understand WISER, she patted her own HEAD saying again WISER.

“You will make BIG money. I am a fortuneteller. You know I mean it from my heart. You’ll make Big Money. You don’t even know me but you will make big money. It’s true.” The drunken gal said.

I see. Thank you. Thanks. And I tried to look away for the view outside. She patted me again to get my attention.

Drunken gal: You know Steven Gerrard?

The football player? (Shoot.. shouldn’t have replied.)

Drunken gal: Yes. He’s my cousin.

Gosh.. who’s gonna save me?? Anybody here? My…..I can’t talk to this drunken gal anymore as I held my breath at the same time! While the train was nearly full but she picked me. Sigh… Go for your next victim, will you?

Drunken gal: You see. You don’t meet people like me often on the train, you know. I have proof. I am his cousin.

Then she pulled out a piece of paper with her name on it. It said Amanda something Gerrard.

See.. Wowo.. Oh… for about some minutes. Then it was the old scene again with all the fortuneteller blah blah ….

Oh.. good. She finally sat back to her seat, which was virtually one step away from mine. Satisfied? Old gal?

Oh…Oh.. NO WAY!!

She jumped up to the young man sat in front of me then started bothering him. She hunted the young man like a hungry TIGER!!

The young man couldn’t believe his fate and said, “I’m trying to get some rest, can’t believe you old gal…” The young man was laughing but only seemed to be bitter ones.

Drunken gal: Oh. Yes. I love you. I love ya…. Let’s make some baby. I love ya…You know I could….(she’s seducing him and I’d skip the bunch of it.)

Hahaa…………….. She leant on and kissed him. Can you believe it?? This kind of story doesn’t really happen in normal daily life, right? Hahah… What a ride!

What an amazing British Old Gal, Amanda, though drunken.

And you know what? I do believe that she the cousin of the Big Name, Steven Gerrard.