Are you close to GOD?

I am tired and feeling down lately. A friend who has no belife in religion like me sent me an article he read in a forwarded message to me. It was about a man and his relation with God.

The general idea is that "No matter where you are, God's always with you and he's always there when needed."

Ha..ha... the funny thing is I have been in Catholic school for about 8 years in total. I never felt that I am close to God. I don't know why. Maybe it's my own problem and I shouldn't blame God for not being helpful when I need strength to hang on. And of course I shouldn't blame him when I feel so lonely and want to end my own life.

I think it's my own fault. I always want to find someone to lean on, to share my sorrow, my happiness and every thing in my life. However, it's not possible to find someone who will be always besides me. So, the thing is what do I want?

God above, I feel shame on myself. I knew I have problem but I can't tell. Will you be able to give me the strength I need?

Reply from God "Yes, my lost child if you truely believe in me and you shall find the strength."

um....... are you close with God? Am I close enough?